You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
