Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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