you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just pee around me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
