you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize