How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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