Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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