I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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