What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
smell my finger.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
