I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize