I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
