3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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