so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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