Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
