bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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