Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
