tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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