Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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