Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
