What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
