yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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