I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
