He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
