if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
