I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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