I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
