He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
