I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
