If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
