Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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