I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
