i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize