Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
