I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
