He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize