Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
