so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
