we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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