i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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