so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
