i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
