I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
