THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
