All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
