i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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