I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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