Cold hands, warm shart.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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