you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
