K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
