Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
