This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
