Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
