dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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