you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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