you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
