I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
