Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
