Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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