we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I enjoy the company of your penis
is it fun? or sober?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
