I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
