He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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