just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
