I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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