Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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