About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
