Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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