i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
