Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
