Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize