We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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